You’re lying in bed, completely calm, about to close your eyes, and then, out of nowhere, your brain says, “Let’s go over that awful moment of 2016!” A memory you believed you had buried long ago is just there to resurface. It could be a time when you acted or spoke awkwardly as you chatted with your first crush or a day when your peers made fun of and humiliated you over a small mistake. Perhaps you were performing at school, and all eyes were on you, but you froze and had a panic attack.
Worse still, the embarrassing memories are not the only ones that pop up. Sometimes, your mind brings up even the darker and gloomier ones, like the time you had an accident, when your pet got a serious disease, or when someone you cared about relocated or passed away. These moments do not make you blush; they make you hurt so badly. And without fail, they are prone to be served by your brain RIGHT before bedtime.
So, what causes this?
As stated by psychologists, the brain analyzes and works through unresolved emotions at calm and sane times, especially before sleeping. Throughout the day, we are occupied with our duties, assignments, and conversations with other people. However, while we remain still, the brain can better explore these profound feelings, such as unspoken words, open wounds, or things we never got closure on.
This is primarily governed by the Default Mode Network (DMN), a collection of neurons that become actively engaged when we are not performing a task. According to a 2011 Harvard study, this network at night promotes emotional reappraisal and contemplation (Andrews-Hanna et al.). Likewise, Walker and van der Helm’s (2009) study demonstrates that REM sleep facilitates the organization of emotional memories. The brain may continuously replay an unresolved moment in an attempt to find closure or explanation.
But why 2016?
Indeed, it’s not really the year that matters. It is about the version of us that existed in that year. The year itself is generally associated with a social discomfort in adolescence or early adulthood, a period marked by deep self-reflection, particularly around questions like ‘Who am I?’ in accordance with Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. That road contains awkward, honest, and occasionally unpleasant moments.
So, what can you do?
Instead of fighting these memories, make an effort to greet them with kindness. The greatest ways to embrace them are to say things like “I was just growing,” “That hurt, but I got through it,” or “It’s okay to have failed.”
Self-compassion in such situations can improve tolerance and lessen psychological suffering. The state of peace can be achieved through recording thoughts, taking slow breaths, and reinterpreting this flashback as an act of bravery rather than failure.
Ultimately…
The uncomfortable, upsetting, or perplexing memories we relive at night are not punishments for people. They serve as silent reminders of what we have gone through, including profound feelings, mistakes, growth, and, most importantly, recovery. Even the odd, depressing, or awkward times you had during those days are a part of your own personal history. They demonstrate that you have lived life to the fullest, gained valuable lessons, and brought closure to something that was left open in the past. 2016 is more than just nostalgia; it’s a window into a younger, more impressionable version of myself. It is excellent that you are a better person now than you were back then. That is something worth honoring.
Photo Credits
Featured Image: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/11/06/562354635/sleepless-night-leaves-some-brain-cells-as-sluggish-as-you-feel
Photo 1: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-sleep-anxiety-7109292
Photo 2: https://www.aktifbulten.com.tr/haber/1566/uyuyamiyorum-neden-boyleyim.html
Photo 3: https://www.150harleyst.co.uk/sleeping-disorder-clinic/have-i-got-a-sleep-disorder/
References
Andrews-Hanna, J. R., Mackiewicz Seghete, K. L., Claus, E. D., Burgess, G. C., Ruzic, L., & Banich, M. T. (2011). Cognitive Control in Adolescence: Neural Underpinnings and Relation to Self-Report Behaviors. PLOS ONE, 6(6), e21598. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0021598
Walker, M. P., & van der Helm, E. (2009). Overnight therapy? The role of sleep in emotional brain processing. Psychological Bulletin, 135(5), 731–748. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0016570